


Sweater Weather (or Whatever)

by judasryden



Category: Bandom, Cobra Starship, Fueled by Ramen, Panic At The Disco, Panic! at the Disco, The Academy Is..., gabilliam - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-14
Updated: 2013-10-24
Packaged: 2017-12-29 10:13:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1004186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/judasryden/pseuds/judasryden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The air is getting crisper, and William's heart begins to sink, his chest begins to tighten. With mid-semester exams approaching and having to manage a floor of sophomores, his anxieties are high.</p><p>And Ryan won't stop pestering him about a boy who wants to help him do well -- no matter what William says, Ryan won't stop insisting that he is what he's not. And he won't stop sleeping on his floor or wandering onto his hallway. Not looking for anyone.</p><p>But what do you do when you find out you want what you thought you didn't? That you are what you thought you weren't?</p><p>It'll sort itself out by Christmas, won't it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. "You can be our alpha wolf."

He hadn’t realized where he had been until the room began to empty. William looked down at the stick-like trees he had taken to drawing some time ago and cursed himself. Half the lecture devoted to a graphite forest. He tossed his notebook into his backpack and nodded at his professor as he left, who nodded back curtly in response. _He noticed_ , William thought. _And he thinks I’m a dick._  
  
He shoved his hands into his pockets and told himself to breath. The class – History Since 1860 Through Biography – was just a core class; he could take it over no problem. No one would give him shit for it. Still, that wasn’t the way he did things; in high school, he never got lower than an A, and then freshmen year introduced him to Bs. And last year…  
  
Well. His third year _had_ to be better.  
  
“Hey,” a voice came from behind him and a hand clapped his back. William jumped. “You ready for this midterm Tuesday?”  
  
It was Gabe. All William knew about him was that he was a senior with a house just a block off campus. That and that he felt attendance to be _very_ optional.  
  
“I mean – “ William shrugged, laughing nervously. Come to think of it, had Gabe even come to class?  
  
Gabe smiled back, unfazed. “Right? Well. I was just going to ask, if you wanted help studying. Like, whenever. You going home this weekend?”  
  
“No. I mean, I’m staying here. I-I’m on duty in McShain tonight and…” William tried to remember his schedule, but he’d written it down in his room and chosen to forget.  
  
“Well,” Gabe began, giving him another crooked smile. He took a piece of paper from his pocket and began to write. “How about I give you my number? And you can call me when you want help. Cool?”  
  
“Yea, man,” William responded, taking the receipt from Gabe. _G-A-B-E_ , he’d written it in capital letters above his number, as if it were of high importance. “Thanks; I’ll uhm, I’ll call you later then.”  
  
“Whenever you want,” Gabe said, and walked away nonchalantly.  
  
William was still smirking when he found Ryan waiting for him outside the building. As he came toward him, Ryan crushed the cigarette out on the heel of his boot.  
  
“So, tonight. Are you coming out?”  
  
“Ryan, it’s a Tuesday.”  
  
“So?” Ryan scoffed at him, completely unsurprised by William’s response. “Break starts Thursday. Like, most people are leaving tomorrow afternoon. What time’s your earliest class tomorrow?”  
  
“Ten, but – “  
  
“See?” Ryan continued, throwing his hands up. “Plenty of time to sleep. Come out, leave by one. Asleep by one-thirty. Nap after class. So, tonight. I’m feeling whiskey.”  
  
William shook his head and laughed. “I’ll make the run for you, but I really can’t. I’ve got a midterm coming up, and I’m on duty tonight anyway.”  
  
Ryan grimaced in response. “That’s disgusting. You need to stop being on duty. Just like, get fired or something. Can they do that?”  
  
“Ryan – “  
  
“I know, I know… Alright. I’ll come visit you then”  
  
“Alright. Well – a friend might be coming over. I mean, this guy from my history class.”  
  
Ryan put both his hands up in front of him, mouth open. “Shut up, I’m not ruining a date. Is it one of your residents? Tell me you’re fucking a resident.” He wiggled his eyebrows and bit his lip to keep from chuckling. William rolled his eyes.  
  
“Ryan I’m not – I don’t – no. It’s just this guy from my history class. We’re going to study. He told me to call him when he should come over, so I haven’t committed to anything, y’know?”  
  
“Okay, great. I’ll come over after so you can tell me about your first time,” Ryan replied, laughing openly.William sighed, shaking his head and fingering the paper in his pocket. “But seriously, can we please get something to eat? I want one last stomach ache before I go home.”  
  
That night, William tacked the number to his cork board, wondering when he should call. Should he wait until after his first rounds? Or later in the night so he wouldn’t have to leave Gabe alone in the room? That could be rude, though – maybe he should wait until tomorrow? William looked at his notebooks, lying open on his desk just as they had been for an hour or more, no information sticking. Finally, he decided to wait until at least after six to make any sort of calls. He would judge the verdict once he had Gabe on the line.  
  
It wasn’t that he had any feelings for Gabe – he’d never had any romantic feelings for guys before, and why should it start now? Ryan was always trying to get William to “find himself” ever since they met and Ryan drunkenly told William he was the most beautiful tree he’d ever seen. Socialization just tended to be a little difficult for him now, especially with new people. The university wasn’t too big, but there was still a large group of people he didn’t know, and with graduation somewhere on the horizon, why should he start making new friends?  
  
A knock brought William back, and he found one of his residents on the other side; a boy with dark hair and red glasses called Brendon. “What’s up, Bren?”  
  
He smiled. “Adam wanted to see if you wanted to come eat with us – well, us and the other guys. We’re going in like an hour – are you hungry?”  
  
“Y’know, what is it with you guys all wanting to eat together all the time?” William leaned against the door frame and gave him a crooked smile. “Like, you’re in a pack. How many new people have you met off this floor, Brendon?”  
  
Brendon furrowed his brow and looked off. “Enough. We get along well!” He said. Brendon shrugged, still smiling. “I’ll knock when we’re leaving. You can be our alpha wolf.”  
  
“Sound good,” he said with a laugh and closed the door as Brendon walked away.  
  
William stretched as he looked around his room; it was surprisingly tidy considering how chaotic he felt. The bed wasn’t made, but that was natural. He considered going back to his books before eating but decided against it. The tightness in his chest wasn’t worth it. Just as he began to straighten out his sheets, the phone rang.  
  
He knew Gabe had no way of contacting him, but still, his heart made itself known to him. William didn’t hesitate. “Hello?”  
  
“ _Billll,_ ” the voice on the other end whined. Who else. “Let’s go to the liquor store, yea?”  
  
“I can’t right now, man. I’m eating with my floor soon – “  
  
“I’m coming over,” Ryan replied, and the line went dead quickly.  
  
Ten minutes later, Ryan was at his door. As soon as William opened it, Ryan was inside, plopped down in William’s desk chair before he could even get a word out. “So when’s dinner?”  
  
“Dunno. They said in an hour at – “  
  
“Who said?”  
  
William’s lips curled; he’d never seen Ryan so interested in a meal before. “One of my residents… Why?”  
  
Ryan shrugged, shook his head and pulled off his gloves. “Just making conversation. How’s the boyfriend?”  
  
William sighed, exasperated. “Ryan. We’re just studying. You know – “  
  
“I know, I know,” Ryan cut him off as he rolled his eyes and made air quotes around his words. “You’re _not._ ”  
  
While he wanted to be frustrated, he smiled. He remembered the first conversation they had, when Ryan told William he was beautiful. Only slightly less drunk, he kept telling Ryan, “You’re nice, but I’m not – “ or, “I’m flattered, but I’m not – “ and never finishing his sentence. Ryan continued to challenge him, and William had never really been able to word what he _wasn’t_. They knew, of course. Or at least, Ryan knew.  
  
“So like, who is this guy, anyway? Is he one of your residents?” Ryan continued. William could tell Ryan was chewing the inside of his cheek – a nervous tick Ryan didn’t think was noticeable.  
  
“No, it isn’t. It’s just this guy in my history class. No big deal. His name’s Gabe.”  
  
Ryan smiled and bit his lip again. “He’s a senior, right? Gabe Saporta? Oh, Bill.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“Oh, _Bill_.” Ryan covered his mouth but composed himself quickly. “I know him, is all. That’s where I’m going tonight, actually. You’re sure you can’t come?”  
  
William frowned, crossed his arms over his chest as he leaned against his door. “You know I can’t. Why should I want to? I don’t know this guy, Ry. And I’m not particularly interested in knowing him either.”  
  
Ryan squinted his eyes and stared at William for a second, as if judging his statement until he’d made up his mind. “I know him. He’s a good guy – he’s fun, and he’s nice, and he’s…I don’t know, cool? But not like, cool kids cool, y’know? Just like, calm-cool. Follow?”  
  
He didn’t, but William nodded, not making eye contact with Ryan.  
  
“Well, he’s going to help me study. Or we’re going to study together. I’m not sure about what’s going on.”  
  
“Call him now!” Ryan exclaimed, and quickly tucked his legs beneath him. “Call him right now. Forget dinner, I’ll eat with your floor. Just like, tell him you’re hungry and – “  
  
“Ryan, I – “  
  
“Alright, so maybe not,” Ryan. “We’ll all eat then. But then you should call him and have him come over. And y’know, _study_.” Ryan wiggled his eyebrows again, but William just laughed this time.  
  
“Alright, fine, if you say so…” William shrugged, and Ryan beamed back at him in response. There was no need for such excitement, not that William could tell, but he wasn’t about to interrogate his friend on his joy. “Alright. I’m going to check on Adam and – “  
  
“I’ll come,” Ryan said. He rose automatically, cracked his knuckles and made his way for the door. “I don’t think I’ve met your residents yet anyway.”  
  
“Yea, well I’ll make sure to announce your arrival to them,” William joked, smiling slyly. He ignored Ryan as he rolled his eyes.  
  
In the hallway, Brendon stood pounding on his door just two rooms away. “Adam, I swear to _God_ if you don’t let me in – “  
  
“Hey!” William put on his RA voice, and immediately captured Brendon’s attention. “What’s with the raucous?”  
  
Brendon turned and huffed. “I left my key in the room and Adam won’t let me in.”  
  
“Sisky!”  
  
As soon as his name was called, Adam opened the door and entered the hallway, both keys in hand. “Hey, Bill. Erh. Sorry.” Brendon snatched his key from him, but smiled.  
  
“ _Call him now,_ ” Ryan shout-whispered to William, grabbing at his sleeve. He furrowed his brow and cocked his head in response as Ryan continued. “I’ll take the little ones to dinner. Call him before he has people over. Trust me.” Ryan marked an X over his chest quickly before the other two boys meet them, and William knowed exactly why once they were all together.  
  
“Who’s your friend, Bill?” Adam asked, nodding at Ryan.  
  
“Oh, guys this is Ryan. Ryan, Adam and Brendon.” Ryan quickly raises his eyebrows at both boys in response, and his eyes caught Brendon’s briefly. The latter smiled back.  
  
“I’ll meet you guys over there okay? I’ve got a phone call to make.” As they left, Ryan mouthed a _Thank you_ to William, who chuckled.  
  
Once inside, he grabbed his phone and receipt and pressed the numbers gingerly, as if afraid to startle them. Once the phone had begun, his thoughts got going. _I should hang up I should hang up don’t pick up don’t pick up don’t pick up no no please pick up please pick up what’s my number what’s my number why isn’t he picking up pick up pick up no no don’t don’t pick up –_  
  
“Hello?”  
  
“Uh – “ William coughed on his end, completely forgetting how phone conversations went. This was a normal occurrence, of course.  
  
“Uhm, hello?”  
  
“Hey,” William responded once he had stopped sputtering. “Uhm. Hey. Gabe?”  
  
“Yea? Who is this?”  
  
“It’s uhm, me. It’s William. From history?”  
  
“Yea, hey! I didn’t think you were gonna call.”  
  
 _Shit shit you weren’t supposed to call now he thinks_ – “Yea well, I was just looking over the notes and… well, shit.”  
  
Both boys laughed, and a little of the tension broke. “Well, you started, that’s cool. I haven’t opened my note book. Where’re you living? You said McShain right?”  
  
“Mm-hm.”  
  
“Alright cool. I’m gonna come over soon, is that alright? I’ll see how I can help you.”  
  
“Great, thanks,” William responded before making a connection. “Say… Were you in class today? Do you have the notes? I missed a couple.”  
  
“Well uh, funny story…” Gabe laughed, his words jumbled in his throat. William smirked.  
  
“Right, I thought so. Come over whenever and I’ll give you the notes you missed.”  
  
“Ah, thanks man. See you soon,” Gabe replied, and the line went dead.  
  
William considered trying his notes again, at least organizing them in some cohesive manner, but thought better of it, and went back to making his bed.  
  
“So, was it everything you dreamed and more?”  
  
“Ryan – “  
  
“I know, I know.”  
  
Ryan sat across from William in the small, darkened smoothie bar (it wasn’t dark for ambiance – a few lights had gone out since classes started two months ago and no one had bothered to look into fixing them apparently), Ryan drank some caffeinated smoothie and William drank nothing. He had one more class until he was done for the long weekend. The only way he could have been happier was if he didn’t have this midterm looming over his head.  
  
“But really, how was it? What do you think of him?” Ryan sipped his drink, checking his phone for the fifth time in ten minutes.  
  
“It was fine,” William replied smoothly. “I gave him some notes and that was it. We talked a little. Really, nothing at all. He didn’t stay long – you were at his house weren’t you?”  
  
“Yea,” Ryan responds as his lips curled slowly. “I brought your floor out too.”  
  
“Oh, Christ Ryan,” William muttered. He covered his face with his hands, rubbing his eyes. “I thought Spencer was going to die this morning; he told me he had the flu. You know he’s never drank before?”  
  
“Yea well, sorry.”  
  
William shook his head, checking the time again. Ten more minutes, and then fifty more, and he would be done. “So you enjoyed your dinner date?”  
  
Ryan froze, only his eyes moving to find William’s face. “I don’t know what you mean. I ate with your floor. _No big deal,_ right?” William chuckled in response. He knew Ryan wasn’t outright with his feelings, but shit, he was awful at being sneaky. “Shit Bill, is this what it feels like? It’s awful.”  
  
“Oh, no, this isn’t what it’s like, because I’m not secretly invested in anyone.” William laughed as Ryan narrowed his eyes and swatted at him, hissing that someone would hear him. “Y’know I could help, if you’d just – “  
  
“No thanks,” Ryan responded coyly, looking out the window to the quad. “Listen, I’ve got to go. Train to catch. Will you call me though, really? Like, if you need anything,” Ryan added, eyes changing. “Like if it gets quiet or whatever, call me. Or y’know, if you find out you are—“  
  
“Ryan – “  
  
“Bill?”  
  
William sighed, smirking back at Ryan. He appreciated his help, he really did. “I’ll call you if anything happens; or doesn’t. Have fun at home, man. And uh, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”  
  
“Are you kidding?” Ryan turned as he walked out the door. “I’m going to do _everything_ you wouldn’t do!”


	2. "Once an addict, always an addict, Bill."

Once his last class – Philosophy of Sex and Sexuality – had ended, William tossed his bag onto a table on the quad and stretched. Absolutely no more classes until the following Tuesday, where all he had to worry about was the midterm. He sighed, allowing himself a few moments of solace before he dived into his work. He observed the quad, empty or emptying, most people going home for the short break. Surely the silence would enable him to get some work done, wouldn’t it?  
He chuckled softly to himself at the thought, sitting down and taking out his planner. He was on duty again tonight, and once more Monday night. Bullshit, he thought to himself, knowing he wouldn’t have gone home regardless. Sometimes, he liked the quiet, and home was…messy. William loved his family, but sometimes that didn’t matter, didn’t make the headache go away, didn’t make the invasive questions any more okay. As far as he understood, one’s family only knew you best – loved you unconditionally – because they had to. He didn’t feel this way all the time, of course. But still…

His phone rang just as he sat down, and he answered it without question.

“’lo?”

“So this midterm,” the voice on the other end jumped in, and it took William a moment before he realized it was Gabe. “I was trying to like, go over some of the names and I have no clue what I’m doing.”

A laugh caught in William’s throat. “Well,” he began, “do you wanna try to go over it now? I have my stuff with me… I’m on the quad.”

“Sounds great. I’ll be over in a little. We’ll get coffee. See you,” Gabe said, hanging up before the other could reply.

By the time William got to the coffee shop, Gabe was already sitting at a two-person table near the back. He sat down quickly, nodding a Gabe. “Hi.”

“Hi.” Gabe sipped his drink, eyes still on William.

“So, I was looking over some things after you left last night and – “

“Hey, relax,” Gabe said, cutting William off. “Just hang out for a second. How’s your day going?”

William’s eyes searched the table for a response. “Uhm,” he stammered, rubbing the back of his neck. Had he really gotten this bad at casual conversation? “Fine. Just finished my last class a little while ago.”

“Nice,” Gabe said, smiling as he took another sip from his cup.

“Say, I’m sorry you couldn’t come out last night. I know a bunch of people who are staying here for break, so I’m gonna have some people over. You down?”

“Yea, I – I’d love to, but I can’t.” Gabe shook his head, his mouth tilting in a crooked smile.

“You’ve got to take a break, man, you know that?”

“Oh, no, it’s not – I’m on duty again. Tonight and Monday. But I’m free Saturday and Sunday night,” William said, not entirely sure if he was making a good decision in promising such an open schedule

“Great,” Gabe said, standing suddenly and tossing his backpack over his shoulder. “Call me later, maybe we can grab something to eat before we start studying. I’d like to get a little bit done before I have to entertain, y’know? See you around, Bill.”  
With that, Gabe was out the door, sauntering towards one of the class buildings. William looked down at his book, still closed on the table. Fuck it then, he thought to himself, I may as well get some tea while I’m here.

“So, you’re like. Sure?” It’s Ryan on the other end of the phone this time, having called William from a rest stop. “Like, really though – “

“Ryan, please?” William pleaded, rubbing his eyes with his free hand. He could picture Ryan rolling his eyes as he clicked his tongue, letting the subject drop. “Anyway. How’s the train ride?”

“Ugh, not worth it,” Ryan said. “You were right to stay there. It’s taking fucking forever, and I’m just coming back Sunday anyway, so.”

“That’s tough, friend. Well, I hope you get home soon,” William laughed as Ryan groaned on the other end, verbally questioning his decision to go back to his dad’s house. It wasn’t as bad as it could have been, William knew – Ryan’s dad used to be an alcoholic (“Once an addict always an addict, Bill,” Ryan had told him the only time he ever discussed his home life) but he’d sobered up a few years ago and was fighting to strengthen their father-son relationship. Ryan thought it was bullshit, and William could tell no matter what his father did, Ryan’s opinion wouldn’t change.

A knock interrupted his thought process, and Brendon shyly stepped inside; William had forgotten he’d left it open. He waved Brendon in, holding up his index figure indicated that he needed a minute.

“Listen, I gotta go, I’ve got an RA thing to do. Hang in there, man. Call me when you get there,” William ended the conversation, turning to face Brendon as he put the phone down. “Sorry about that. What’s up? I didn’t know you were staying.”  
“I didn’t think it was worth the train ticket,” Brendon said, quickly raising his eyebrows and looking down at the carpet. His head snapped back up quickly, as if he’d realized something. “Who were you talking to?”

“Oh, just now? My friend Ryan -- you met him last night?” William explained as Brendon smiled, checking out William’s blank walls. “Did you go out with him?”

“I-excuse me?” Brendon stammered, brow creased.

“I’m sorry, I mean like. He said he went out with some of you guys last night. Hey, it’s okay,” William reassured once he realized Brendon wasn’t looking any more calm. “I’m not gonna get you in any kind of trouble for drinking, just curious. Ryan can be a handful, I just wanted to make sure he was a good host, yknow?”

“Oh, yea,” Brendon replied, eyes back on the floor. “Listen. I was going to – ask you about that. Is – is he here this weekend?”  
William shook his head. “Nah, sorry man. He’ll be back Sunday night though. What’s up? Should I tell him you were asking for him?”

“No, that’s fine,” Brendon said, his smile different now. “Don’t worry about it, I just wanted to ask him something. I’ll uh, I’ll see you around.”

Call him. William had been sitting at his desk for two hours and had just finished outlining the first of four essay questions. You still have to go over the terms. Call him. Maybe he can help.  
William sighed, grabbing for his phone and then putting it down again. It was almost ten – what if he was busy? What if he just didn’t want to study, or was just relying on William to give him answers? In that case, he wasn’t going to get very far either. He told you to call, his thoughts continued. Just do it.

As soon as he dialed, he regretted it. He counted the rings as he waited – one, two, three, four… Finally, the ringing stopped, Gabe on the other end.

“Hey!” He shouted, background noise dominating. “You change your mind about coming over?”

William felt his shoulders tense, but kept his voice even. “I’m not allowed to leave the building, Gabe. I just – I’m sorry, I didn’t realize – I just needed – “

“Take a break, man,” Gabe continued, which only made William more tense. “You’ve gotta stop taking yourself this seriously. It’s gonna be fine.”

William stood quickly and began to pace the room, not entirely sure what his next move should be. “I just – like. I really have to do well on this – “

“And you will. Just take a night off, watch a movie or something. Call me when you decide to take a break, then I’ll come over. Hey, you’re a smart guy. Just. Be smart about this.”

Before William could retort, the line went dead. He tossed the phone back onto his desk and sighed loudly.

Before he knew it, it was Monday. William woke up late, Ryan curled up on the carpet, his clothes in a pile next to him. Shit, William thought, his throat beginning to feel tight.  
The night before, Ryan hadn’t even bothered to go back to his own room, although it had to be closer to the bus stop he had gotten off at. (“I found these under the sink,” he had said, throwing two bottles of Southern Comfort onto William’s bed. “They were closed, and he seemed good – said he was testing himself or something. But, like. Shit.”) They’d both planned to get blindingly drunk, but hadn’t drank more than enough for a strong buzz, and called it a night sometime past two.  
But now the sun was up and making its slow climb back down. He had less than 24 hours before the midterm and hadn’t seen Gabe since they met on Wednesday for coffee. Like he’d have been of any help anyway, William thought bitterly. Well, forget that; he’ll get what he’s earned.

Ryan stirred, pulling the pillow over his head and groaned loudly. Automatically, William got up to grab him a glass of water and a bottle of ibuprofen.

‘“Ouch,” Ryan murmured as a thank you, taking the pills and drink from William.

“Yknow, if your hangovers get so bad, why not stop drinking?” William suggested lightly, and Ryan scoffed in return. He sat up, leaning against William’s dresser, the latter sitting on his bed. “So your friend Gabe is kind of, uh, not helpful.”

“I said he was nice,” Ryan countered, eyes still closed, head back. “I never said he was helpful. So, like. Did you guys hang out?”

“Briefly. After you left, but that was all. He doesn’t seem to be too keen on this class, yknow?”

“Well, shit Bill,” Ryan said with a laugh, “the only reason you’re so keen is because you want your 4.0 or whatever. Like, just stop stressing out; it’s not that hard.”

William narrowed his eyes at Ryan, who couldn’t care less about his GPA. The only reason Ryan went to college was to get out of the house, and his band hasn’t gotten anywhere. He was a digital arts major anyway; he didn’t do half the work or have half the pressure William did.

A knock broke through the silence, causing Ryan to wince. William chuckled softly, finding Brendon on the other side of the door.

“Bren.”

“I left my key in the room.”

“Brendon – “

“I know, I’m sorry,” Brendon pleaded, seeming genuinely guilty.  
“This is literally the fourth time in two days. Come on, man,” William said, shaking his head and grabbing the master key.  
He went down to open the door but didn’t feel Brendon behind him. When he turned around, he found Ryan standing in his bedroom doorway, raking his fingers through his hair and smiling crookedly. Brendon beamed back.

“Got it open!” William shouted to test the moment, snickering to himself as both heads snapped in his direction.

Brendon ducked back into his room, Ryan calling after him, “See you tonight.”

“Ryan, c’mon – “

“What?” He asked innocently. “We’re going to Gabe’s later. No big deal.”

William was getting seriously sick of those eyebrows.

It was almost one and William was beginning to lose it.  
He had his notes sprawled everywhere – the bed and the desk covered in individual sheets of paper – and he felt like the walls were closing in. William paced around the room, running his hands through his hair and telling himself to breath – in for three, hold for three, out for three. He’d called Ryan three times already, knowing he was busy but hoping that’d he’d pick up just once.

He wrung his hands, pull back his desk chair and plopping himself down. He kept telling himself to dive in, but his words ran together – those same trees had grown over some of his notes, and he cursed aloud. It’s fine it’s fine it’s fine it’s fine it’s fine, he told himself, his breath shaky and his chest tight.  
William jumped as the phone rang, rubbing his eyes before picking up. He swallowed, trying to calm himself.

“Hello.”

“Bill!” Ryan called on the other end, not out of excited – not the way Gabe had some nights ago – just to be heard over the music. “You called me. Like, a million times; what’s wrong?”  
“Ryan, I can’t focus,” William replied, forcing a small laugh. “It’s so quiet and, I – “

“Wait, wait, wait. Are you okay?” Ryan interrupted. When William doesn’t reply immediately, Ryan continued. “Look, just like… give me twenty minutes. I’ll be over. I just have to find Brendon – I can’t just leave him here. Twenty minutes, Bill. Just like. Open a window or something.”

William hung up and guilt swarmed him. He knew he could have just told Ryan he was fine – fibbed and claimed he’d pocket-dialed him a few times, or even say that he was just being silly earlier, but no. He’d felt there was no use trying to convince Ryan he was fine, but now William began to feel bad. He had to force Brendon to leave; what if they were having a good time together?

His thoughts continued to until there was a soft knock on his door. William tried his best to hide his surprise as Gabe greeted him.

“Hey, Bill.”

He was obviously drunk. William had seen people drunker, of course, but he blinked slower than standard, his mouth turned in a permanent smile. When William didn’t reply, Gabe continued. “Ryan’s taking care of Brendon. They’re a little drunk, but they’re fine. I brought my books.” With that, Gabe slide past William and into the room, dropping his back pack down in the center of the floor and whistling as he looked around.

William closed the door softly behind him, still not speaking. Arms crossed tightly across his chest, he remained by the door. “You didn’t have to come.”

“Man, you’re no joke, are you?” Gabe said, laughing as he turned to face William. His face fell when he realized William didn’t appear to be in on the joke. “Hey, man, it’s cool. Sit down, alright?”

William nodded mutely, turning his chair to face away from the desk, Gabe leaning on the wall opposite him. He bent to pull a plastic bottle from his bag and took a swig; William shook his head when the bottle was offered to him.

“So,” Gabe began, taking in the scene. “You’ve been at this a while, yea?”

“Yea. All night.”

“Well, then don’t worry. You don’t want to over study, yknow?”

“But I don’t – “

“Bill please,” Gabe said, putting up his index finger as if to shush William. He took a few steps forward. “You’re gonna be fine. You really need to stop obsessing over things.”

“Don’t tell me what I need to do,” William spoke with such conviction he almost didn’t believe it was his own voice. “Just, don’t. You don’t get it, man. I appreciate it – don’t get me wrong – …I’m sorry, I’m just so anxious. Nothing is sticking, yknow?”  
Gabe searched the carpet for an answer, looked back at William and knelt down in front of him when he seemed to figure out what to do. “Close your eyes.”

“What?”

“Just close your eyes.”

“Gabe, if you’re gonna – I’m not – “

“Will you just shut up and close your fucking eyes?” Gabe said, laughing as he did to cover his frustration. Their eyes met for a moment, William extremely uncomfortable. “Just trust me.”  
William breathed – in for three, held for three, out for three – and closed his eyes.

Gabe’s lips met his almost instantly, and he felt his shoulders relax slightly. William didn’t part his lips, didn’t even have to fight Gabe’s tongue away from his, just kissed him back, softly as if testing the temperature of a pool. When they parted, Gabe kept his face close to William’s, and it wasn’t until then that William noticed the smell of alcohol.

“Listen. Ryan told me a little bit about you on the walk over here – when he said he was coming over here, I told him I wanted to come. I don’t give a fuck about this midterm – I don’t care how high it’s weighted, I don’t care how much it effects my final grade, I don’t care how bad I do. I know it’ll work out, and you have to know that to. But – I just thought it was a good excuse to start talking to you. Like, I was talking to one of my housemates about it and he said now was as good a time as ever. I just think you seem really cool – despite being a fucking spazz – “ at this, both boys laughed softly – “and… I don’t know. I didn’t think you wanted much to do with me after the other night, but Ryan started talking about how serious you are about stuff, and how you get when it’s quiet, and I wanted to make sure you were okay. I was like, ‘if he doesn’t want to see me, fuck it. Because I think we’d be good.’” Gabe paused for a moment to judge William’s reaction. He looked back blankly, eyes scanning the former’s face for lies. “As like, whatever. I know you’re stressed; that’s fine. You know this is my fifth year here?”

“No way,” William’s face broke into a smile, not that he was laughing at Gabe, just because his was comforted.

“Yea, I transferred here after my freshmen year, and I fucked up a lot my junior year – couldn’t balance. It’s not that bad, yknow, that you’ll be here longer than Ryan or whatever.”

William cringed openly, causing Gabe to shush him. He didn’t know Ryan knew. After freezing up so badly last year, he had failed all but one of his classes spring semester, and was set to be taking at least an additional year. “That’s not common knowledge, Gabe.”

“I know, I’m sorry that I know. It’s not like I’m gonna tell anyone, alright? You just, you can’t stress yourself out so much. Just like, let some things happen,” Gabe said, and gave him a sly smile. “I don’t care what you are or what you’re not, just do what feels right.”

William bit his lip for a moment, taking in all that Gabe had said. He seemed so confident in his statement – Because I’d think we’d be good – and it was…refreshing. Gabe shrugged, but as he began to stand, William grabbed his sleeve, pulling him back towards him. His brow creased, William stopped him from his next sentenced by pulling him into another kiss.


	3. "You kept me up last night."

“You fucking _bitch._ ” Ryan covered his face as he said it, tossing his head back and forcing a laugh. “I should’ve put [money](http://maybeonedayyoullremember.tumblr.com/post/64160189619/sweater-weather-or-whatever) on that or something.”

“Well, maybe you can move back to [Vegas](http://maybeonedayyoullremember.tumblr.com/post/64160189619/sweater-weather-or-whatever) in the future,” William responded, causing his friend’s head to snap back in his direction, eyebrows raised. “I mean, it wasn’t. Like. I don’t know, man.”

Ryan nodded knowingly. (“How could he _actually_ get it, though,” William thought). “Just, like. Is it that easy? He just kissed you?”

William shushed him quickly, leaning forward as he scanned the smoothie bar. No one had seemed to be paying them any attention, but still. “PleaseRyanIDon’tKnow – “

“Bill, relax,” Ryan cut in, extending his hand as if to pat William’s arm, but refrained. “It’s not that big a deal, you know. So, like. Did he stay over?”

William tried to keep himself from smiling. He felt the blood rush to his cheeks and cursed his light complexion. “No, we uh, we talked a little bit and he left. Just about the test. I went to bed after…What happened to you last night, anyway?”

“Well, thank you for asking,” Ryan said, smiling proudly as he spoke. “I’ll have you know I also got a little action last night and I did _not_ return to my room until this morning.”

“Go on,” William said, his smile slanted. He had no problem discussing Ryan’s romantic endeavors – and besides, he was the only person William knew that could take pride in a Walk of Shame.

“ _Well_ , I told Gabe I wanted to make sure Brendon was okay, so I walked him back to his room, got him some water and sat with him until he felt better. Then I tucked him in, and when I went to leave – he _asked me_ to stay. So, like, I did.”

William coughed on a small laugh, but Ryan’s face remained smug. “That’s it? You had a sleep over?”

“ _Did you hear me he asked me to sleep over,”_ Ryan shout-whispered, leaning across the table, eyes wide. “He was gone when I woke up – but he left me a note. I’m meeting him later. So, like. Yea.” Ryan nodded when he stopped talking, as if reassuring himself, and sipped his drink.

William laughed softly. That was the thing about Ryan – he could speak and act like a dick, but he got so much out of the little things. “Well, I hope you have a nice date. I’ve got to get to class. Let me know how it goes, alright?”

Ryan hummed in response, wishing William luck as he slipped out the door.

He walked quickly, trying to review the facts in his head. That kiss, though. It kept breaking his train of thought, to the point where William found himself physically shaking his head, as if to knock the memory out. _I’ll worry about it later,_ he told himself, but still found himself stuck.

 _Because I think we’d be good. As like, whatever_.

Maybe Ryan would have an answer. Either way, he was inaccessible at the moment.

William was immediately handed his exam as he stepped in the room. He took his seat quietly, unnerved that the front page was blank, the first essay question as a header. He flipped the exam on its back and began to plan out his response, relieved at how easily the information came to him.

Halfway through his essay, the door swung open wildly, Gabe striding in. He smiled widely at their professor, who went unfazed, and took the desk behind William as opposed to his normal seat.

“ _Wait for me in the lobby, alright?_ ” Gabe whispered, surprisingly close to William’s ear. He nodded curtly, intent on getting his facts down while they were fresh in his mind and none too keen on getting called out for cheating. As he leaned forward, he heard Gabe sigh, dissatisfied.

William checked his phone again for the time; almost eleven at this point. Arms crossed, he walked in another small circle, the lobby emptying of kids leaving their [classes](http://maybeonedayyoullremember.tumblr.com/post/64160189619/sweater-weather-or-whatever). _This is silly,_ he thought to himself, hand on his chest now. _The test went fine, there’s no need to be nervous. Either way, it’s over._

When he finally saw Gabe striding towards him, wide smile and arms outstretched, William ignored the fact that his heart rate escaladed. He swallowed before he spoke: “Hi.”

“Hey!”

“You look awfully cheerful for someone who came late to an exam,” William teased, crossing his arms again.

“I’m done, man, you know I don’t care,” Gabe replied, adjusting the strap of his backpack. “Overslept. You kept me up last night.”

Again, William could picture the color changing in his cheeks, white to pink, and damned his [heritage](http://maybeonedayyoullremember.tumblr.com/post/64160189619/sweater-weather-or-whatever). “Yea, well. Uhm. Sorry.”

“Oh, don’t be,” Gabe continued, taking a [step](http://maybeonedayyoullremember.tumblr.com/post/64160189619/sweater-weather-or-whatever) closer. When William refused eye contact, he cleared his throat. “Listen, I wanna talk to you.”

“Oh.”

“Yea, is that okay? I just wanted – “

“I can’t right now,” William cut in quickly, ignoring the change in Gabe’s expression. “I have to print something for a professor, and then I have to eat before my next class, and – “

“Well, lunch then?”

William shook his head. “I really can’t today, I just – …Tomorrow?”

Gabe looked up at William, pouting slightly. “Dinner, at least.”

He kept himself from sighing, trying to mentally plan his day in correspondence to Ryan’s; the only time he would see him would be in their writing class, and not much talking was going to go on then.

Still, Gabe had been there for him last night. And he seemed… eager.

“Dinner then,” William shrugged, smiling. Gabe beamed back, clapping his hands together.

“Alright. Call me when you’re hungry; I’ll make something easy. See you later, Bill.”

Before William could even protest the prospect of going to Gabe’s house, he was gone, having patted his shoulder and speed-walked away.

By six-thirty, he was standing on the porch of one of many dilapidated homes. Gabe’s house was fourth to last on a block of row homes, all which faced another set with the same façade. William bounced on his heels, shaking out his hands and trying to bring himself to knock. (“ _Just, like. Don’t be a pussy,_ ” Ryan had said to him earlier, as if ‘being a pussy’ was easily defined in his circumstance.) He exhaled, tilted his head back, and knocked with confidence, his energy draining quickly.

It took Gabe no more than five full seconds to answer the door, smiling once his eyes register William’s face. “Hi.”

“Hi.”

            They stood in the doorway a moment, William unsure how rude it would be to invite himself in. Gabe slid out of the way, extending his arm to show off the living room. “Welcome.”

            William stepped in gingerly, not stopping too far in the entrance way before taking a look around. The house was surprisingly nice – pink walls left from the previous owners, he was sure, an open living room, dining room visible from the doorway. A few more steps, and William would be at the stairs. “Your house is a little misleading, yknow.”

            “You think?” Gabe questions honestly, closing the door and making his way towards the kitchen. “It’s new- _ish_. They just refurbished it – last year I think it was? Anyway, food’s almost done – make yourself at home, alright?”

            William nodded, although he knew Gabe couldn’t see him. He sat upright on the couch, not daring to lean back, and drummed his fingers across his knee. There was no need to be nervous, although William tried to prepare himself for…

            What was he doing here again?

            “Alright, we’re set,” Gabe called from the kitchen. William stood quickly, standing in the doorway of the dining room.

            He felt a new kind of heat in his chest as he looked at the small table, set for two. “Are uhm, your room mates here or whatever?”

            “Oh, no, they’re all out tonight,” Gabe replied as he set two plates down; hot pockets. “I really hope you aren’t allergic to anything weird – I just got the pepperoni kind. There’s more, if you’re still hungry, I just didn’t want to risk mucking up a meal, yknow?”

            Gabe sat, gesturing for William to do the same. Diving into his food, Gabe seemed completely care-free; why was William’s chest still tight? He took a sip of the water Gabe had set out for him, eyeing his host.

            Once realizing he was being stared at, Gabe put his food down. “You want to skip the bullshit, right?”

            “Yea, if that’s, yknow, alright,” William said with a weak laugh, trying his best not to come off as impolite. He watched as Gabe leaned back in his chair and minded his legs as Gabe stretched his out underneath the table.

            “Alright, no bullshit. You gotta promise the same, alright?” as Gabe began, William nodded, beginning to pull at a loose string in a rip of his jeans. “Look, I just… I’m sorry about last night. I was a little drunk, and I wanted to help you out. You’re a good guy, and once Ryan got talking, I started to feel bad, and I wanted to help you. Now, I’m not gonna say anything,” he added once William started pursing his lips, “but I just wanted to be straight with you. Okay? So, I’m sorry if I crossed any lines or anything. You’re a good guy, and I really want to be friends, so are we cool?”

            William refused to look at Gabe now, despite feeling his eyes on him. He clenched his hand, not out of anger or even embarrassment, but because he could feel his breath running in and out of him lungs, took noticed to the _thump –thump-thump_ s his heart made. He nodded numbly, taking a sip of his drink because his throat had dried out so suddenly.

            “Yea, man,” he finally said when he realized Gabe had nothing more to say. “It’s cool. Don’t worry about it, it was nothing.”

            At this, the corner of Gabe’s mouth turns up, and he leans into William from across the table. “It was nothing. Right.”

            William nods again, drumming his fingers under the table. _This is good news,_ he told himself, _now I don’t have to let Ryan be right._ Still, his chest felt heavy. And Gabe was still smiling at him.

            “Bill. I want you to look at me and tell me it was nothing,” Gabe said coolly, and William looked down at his hands, a laugh jumping from his throat.

            It was impossible.

            “It was nothing,” he murmured, still looking away. He heard Gabe slide his chair closer, folding his hands on the table. William didn’t look at him until he said his name again, softly this time. When their eyes met, he lost his footing completely. “I liked it.”

            Gabe’s face broke then, and William felt stupid for letting the words slip, even worse when Gabe chuckled. He pictured himself throwing his chair back, gliding out of the house and forgetting the whole ordeal, but he was stuck. Wincing, he closed his eyes, shaking his head.

            “That’s what I was hoping you’d say,” Gabe finally broke the silence, leaning back in his chair, lifting his plate to his face as he ate. “You food’s gonna get cold, Bilvy.”

            “So, uhm, d-do you,” William stuttered, searching the table cloth for his wording. “D-o you _like_ watching me bumble?”

            “Oh, I think it’s endearing,” Gabe replied, taking a moment to wipe his hands on a napkin. “Hey, don’t feel bad. I mean, you gotta understand; I couldn’t tell you my intentions were legit if you were gonna freak out, yknow?”

            Confused, William’s eyebrows knitted together. Legit? “Not sure I follow.”

            “Well,” Gabe said, leaning forward again, “it’s like this. I notice you when classes start, and I’m too nervous to say anything – because a lot of guys tend to freak out when another guy approaches him. And then I get this idea to ask you to study, and gauge you – not like, you give off any vibes, just y’know, make sure I’m not blinded. Then Ryan comes over, and he just opens this door for me – now I was drunk, and I am sorry, but I wasn’t about to pass up that chance. Everything I said was true – and I remember all of it. But I didn’t want to take advantage of you or anything, so I wanted to make sure it didn’t mean anything to you and – well – it did.”

            Gabe shrugged, smiling as he drank from his glass. William bit his lip, only mildly perplexed. “Was it obvious before I – “

            “Bill, you kissed me too, yknow,” Gabe said, his tone changing. “I needed to know I wasn’t being taken advantage too. You seemed pretty shaky, and I don’t like being fucked with.”

            “I’m not trying to fuck with you, Gabe,” William said, voice only slightly shaky. “Look, I just. Uhm, this is. I’m not – “

            “I know,” Gabe interrupted, as if not wanted to watch William squirm any more. “Ryan and I talked a _lot_. He’s a good friend, Bill, you should be grateful.”

            William nodded solemnly, allowing himself a small smile. “You said you thought we’d be good… What did you mean?”

            Gabe blinked back, frowning slightly. “Listen, we don’t have to get into that right now. I just, wanted to check on you, yknow? Just, eat your food. I’m glad we’re sorted.”

            William ate, mostly listening to Gabe talk, responding appropriately and letting himself acknowledge the knot in his stomach that “being sorted” left him with.

            William threw himself onto his bed and sighed contently. He felt sick – love sick or that self-loathing sickness or nauseated from laughing too hard after eating almost-cooked hot pockets – but he didn’t mind, didn’t pay attention to that uneasy feeling creeping around the edge of his thoughts. He checked his phone, realizing that he’s gone to Gabe’s four and a half hours prior. That, and he had three missed calls.

            The first was his mother, and that was to be expected. He hadn’t called home in a few weeks at this point, hadn’t bothered to tell them about the short break, although he knew his mother had figured it out. He considered calling her back, but wasn’t in the mood to explain himself just yet.

            Second was from Adam, and there was no telling what that was about. He felt it easier just to go down the hall to check on him, and since he’d only called once, it couldn’t have been of great importance, so he decided to hold off on that as well.

            The third was Ryan, whose voicemail just said: “I’m coming over. So, like. Leave the door open or something. Okay.”

            Luckily, William had only missed the last call by a few minutes and didn’t have to wait long for the knock.

            Ryan stood with his hands in his pockets and gave William a tight-lipped smile when he opened the door. “Hey. So. Are you busy?”

            William shook his head and stepped aside, allowing Ryan to come in. He plopped down on the floor this time, and William didn’t question it, just closed the door and switched off the big light in exchange for his desk light.

            “So. How was dinner?” Ryan asked, knees to his chest and foot tapping. William sat cross-legged across from Ryan and tried to hide his face.

            “It was… interesting. But we’ll get to that later. How was – “

            “No,” Ryan said forcefully, pushing the hair from his face. “I really want to know. Tell me, please?”

            Once William had made it through the story, Ryan was smiling, his legs unfolded. Both their anxieties seemed to melt away, if only for a little while. “We watched this really bad horror flick called _The Thing_ and, Jesus, Ryan.” William laughed at the memory, Ryan sighing in response. “He said you talked a lot about me.”

            Ryan’s smile fell and he shrugged. “I don’t exactly remember the walk home, Bill. I remember telling him we had to go, and that I was going to check on you. Then I remember walking to Bren’s room, and all that shit, so. I don’t think I said anything too shitty.”

            “No, I wasn’t worried, I just – “

            “Okay, then. Cool.”

            Ryan made a face, and William was tempted to retort when he remembered what Gabe said, about Ryan being such a good friend. He thought for a moment, watching as Ryan began to tug a string loose from the carpet. “Did you meet up with him?”

            Eyes still downcast, Ryan frowned, shrugging. “I don’t know who you mean.”

            “Brendon, did you meet up? Y’know, your sleep over buddy – “

            “I know who you mean, Christ,” Ryan huffed, eyes meeting William’s fiercely. William’s mouth opened slightly, and Ryan exhaled sharply. “He said to meet him at the Union at nine, and I got there like, half an hour early to like, work on that stupid writing assignment, and he never fucking showed up. I tried to call him around ten and he wouldn’t pick up; I saw him walk by not too long ago, with that Spencer kid. And, yea. So, like. That was my night.”

            William waited as Ryan raked his fingers through his hair, sighing again and looking at a corner of the ceiling. He shook his head. William said, “I’m sorry.”

            “Yea, well, don’t be.” Ryan scoffed as he spoke. “It wasn’t anything, I knew that. I don’t need that shit anyway, so good riddance.”

            “Yea,” William muttered as he contemplated his own evening, “good riddance.”


	4. "It made me think of you."

Four weeks later and they were just getting their exams back. William eyed the pile of papers on the desk at the front of the room, itching for the class to end so he could determine his fate. His professor had said something at the beginning of class about not wanting them preoccupied with their grades by handing them out at the beginning of class, but William saw no difference. Was it like this for everyone, the nervousness? Behind him, Gabe seemed just as at ease as ever, muttering comments to William every now and then, just quietly enough to make William look like a jackass each time he giggled.

            “What are you doing tonight?” Gabe whispered, not taking his eyes from the professor. “I got you something.”

            William smiled broadly, glad Gabe couldn’t see him for the sheer fact that he’d make fun of him. “Not my birthday,” he said quickly, fist over his mouth as if to feign a cough. “Duty.”

            “I’ll be there by eight; you better keep your night open.”

 

            After class, William waited for Ryan outside College Hall, who had already lit a cigarette by the time he got to the door. “Rough class?”

            “Brutal,” Ryan said, inhaling deeply. “Fuck Presentation Skills. I’m skilled enough.” William scoffed in response, and Ryan couldn’t fight him there. Ryan was a terrible speaker.

            “Well, let’s get smoothies then, to get your mind off things,” William offered, Ryan’s face twisting in protest.

            “No way, man,” he said, already veering in the opposite direction of the smoothie bar, “that shit’s gross, I’d rather go to that sketchy seafood truck.”

            “Uhm, I’m pretty sure you need that stuff to live,” William countered, stopping in his tracks, Ryan not turning until he was a measurable distance away, shoulders slouched as he did so. “Most people are made up of 70% water, but I swear, scientists are gonna examine your body when you die and realize you’re 60% fruit smoothie. What’s your issue, man?”

            Ryan rolled his eyes slowly, stomping his foot once, arms crossed. “Just, like. Brendon.”

            William nodded slowly, making the connection. “I forgot he works there now.”

            “Dumb bitch was just _grinning_ when I walked in a few weeks ago,” Ryan said, tonging his cheek. “I – literally – said ‘fuck this’ and turned around. So, no, man, I don’t want that shit.”

            William looked at Ryan, grinning crookedly. “Wanna wait in the union and I’ll get you something?”

            Ryan nodded eagerly. “God, please, I’ll die if I don’t get some potassium.”

 

            In the bar, the line was shockingly short; with free period not yet started there was actually room to breathe. He spotted Brendon quickly, lavender hoodie and all, laughing with a co-worker William doesn’t recognize. As he made his way to the counter, Brendon’s smile faltered. “Hey, William.”

            “How’s it going, Bren? Haven’t seen you in a while.” William didn’t want to interrogate his resident on being a dick, but he couldn’t help but feel a little anger when Brendon kept smiling, shrugging.

            “Pretty good. Yourself? And what can I get you?”

            “Things are fine, yea; just a banana-strawberry…whatever. For Ryan.”

            All traces of a smile left Brendon’s face at this, and he nodded, refusing eye contact with William as he took his cash. He started the drink without another word, and William couldn’t take it. “Bren, I really don’t want to pry – it’s not my place, and I’m not judging, but what…?”

            Brendon shakes his head and shrugs again. “I don’t wanna talk about it right now. But I’m done in five if he can wait for his drink.”

            William agrees. “I’ll tell him I got stuck in the free period rush. I’ll be in the back.” He nods as he takes the drink, finding a table out of sight of the doorway.

            As soon as people start filing in, Brendon clocked out and two girls clocked in; roommates who have gotten far too close to fast, from how William judged it. They’re freshmen, he was sure, who probably thought working and living together would be a good idea. But it was November now – Thanksgiving only one more week away – and he can tell these girls would rather not associate with each other. He took a sip of the drink and says he’ll just buy Ryan another need be.

            “Is he upset?” William doesn’t even register Brendon right away, standing across from him. William blinked a few times before he put it all together. “Ryan. Was he upset?”           

            “Sit down, man.”

            “Is it bad?” Brendon questioned, sitting quickly. He frowned, brow creased. William would laugh at the emergency in his appearance if he wasn’t ticked off.

            “He was hurt, as you would guess,” William began, crossing his legs at the knee. “He came to me after he saw you. Said he got to the Union at eight-thirty; he didn’t come to my room until eleven.”

            “Oh, God, he saw me,” Brendon half whispers, pulling his seat in and touching his face. “I didn’t – I didn’t see him. I didn’t think he would have waited that long. I just didn’t know what to say – “

            “Brendon, literally _anything_ would have been better than standing him up,” William said, shrugging as he did so. He liked Brendon, he really did, but he couldn’t imagine if Gabe had asked him to go to his house for dinner and then not answered the door. “What happened, anyway?”

            Brendon sighed, shaking his head as he looked down at the table. “I just really liked having him with me, yknow? Like – it was just _nice_ – he’s just -- … I woke up and he was there, and it was weird, yknow? I just – I left. And I really did want to talk to him – “

            “What would you have said?” Williams voice comes out smoothly, not to be nice, but because he wants to make it as quick as possible, not wanting Ryan to get concerned (or, more likely, pissed off).

            “That… I don’t know. I’ve never – been with – with anyone, yknow? And it’s not like I wouldn’t _want_ to – but I just – see?” Brendon sighed, throwing his hands up. “I can’t even – “

            “Just, relax,” William offered, and watched as Brendon took a deep breath. He nodded for William to continue. “Just. Ryan’s a good guy – he may say some shit but he’s a good guy. He wouldn’t want to hurt you, yknow? He wouldn’t try to make nothing into something, do you get me?”

            Brendon nodded, then chuckled to himself. “I’ve been to his building a few times. I’ve walked to his floor and just turned around – he told me to visit him that night he stayed over, and I just – I wanted to say so much and…”

            “It’s not too late, yknow?” William shrugged as he said it, and Brendon looked at him, smiling. “Now, I’m gonna need another smoothie – “

            “It’s on me,” Brendon stood and quickly jumped back behind the counter. William laughed softly, trying to imagine such a positive energy with a bitch like Ryan.

 

            Gabe was standing by William’s door by the time he was finished his rounds, backpack slung over one shoulder, grinning once he knew he had William’s attention. He said, “B-. How’d you do?”

            “A. Guess we know whose study habits work best, huh?”   

            “Yea, panicking at one a.m. and kissing strange boys or not sleeping until four? What a contest,” Gabe said, following closely behind William. As he tossed his bag onto the bed, William feigned insult.

            “I did _not_ keep you up until four!” he exclaimed, standing in front of Gabe. “You left by two-thirty _at the latest!_ ”

            “I know when I left,” Gabe shouted back, stepping closer to William now. “I never said I left here at four, I said you _kept me up_ until four. I was concerned.”

At this, William blinked, his smile fading. “Concerned?”

            “Yea,” Gabe began, suddenly hopping onto the bed and leaning his back against the wall. “I didn’t want you to lose your cool. And I didn’t know what your intentions with me were, yknow?”

            William smiled, taking a step towards Gabe; he noticed how his hips would meet Gabe’s knees if he took another step or two. “That’s sweet of you.”

            “No, what’s sweet of me is the gift I got you,” Gabe replied, eyes bright as he tore open his backpack. “Close your eyes.”

            With a huff, William closed his eyes and crosses his arms over his chest. He listened to the rustling of a plastic bag. When Gabe told him to put his arms out, he did so without question (although his level of concern did rise when he’s greeted with a light, itchy pile).

            “What,” William laughed when he opens his eyes, grabbed a corner of fabric and let the material unfold. “Gabe, _what._ ”

            “It’s a sweater,” Gabe explained, eyes soft. He gave a weak laugh as he continued, “it’s getting cold and I thought you could use a sweater – it made me think of you.”

            Upon further analysis it was, indeed, a sweater in his hands. It’s a collage of warm colors, come greens and purples coming through, all patch worked and mashed together; it’s the most inorganic article of clothing William’s even seen, and all he can do is look at Gabe with an opened-mouth smile, still holding the thing by its shoulder. “This reminded you of me?”

            “Well, yea,” Gabe continued, sitting straight now. “I saw it at JoMar and it was like… you in a sweater. Like, your multi-dimensional and shit. And it’s getting chilly.”

            “Sweater weather,” William murmured as he turned the thing over in his hands.

            “Yea, whatever. It just. If you don’t like it – “

            “No,” William interjected, putting a hand on Gabe’s knee. “I love it, man. I’ve never, uhm, I’ve never seen anything like it. I’m gonna wear it over Thanksgiving break. Thank you.”   

            William kissed Gabe then, lightly first and then with more force, grasping at the collar of his shirt. He pulled away quicker than he’d like, but he wanted to discuss the holiday with Gabe, who whined as William pulled himself up onto the bed. “Are you going home for the break?”

            “Nah, I’m staying here,” Gabe replied, shrugging. “Home’s too far. Besides, I have an off-campus house, so I don’t _need_ to leave, unlike you losers.”

            William swatted at Gabe, trying to hide his smile. “I’m leaving next Wednesday morning,” he continued. “Will you be alright by yourself?”

            Gabe nodded as he spoke, “I hate Thanksgiving – lot of relatives, lot of turkey, lot of naps. I mean, I love, and I love company, but traveling this time of year is shit. Besides, I get to wear my pajamas all day, and my house is doing Drunksgiving next Tuesday, which is way better.”

            Frowning, William said, “Excuse me? Whats-giving?”

            “Drunksgiving,” Gabe explained, unaffected. “Like a friend Thanksgiving, but with a lot of alcohol. We do it every year. It’s a lot of my house mates’ friends, but Ryan will be there. I expect you to be there too, mister.”

            William tilted his head, looking off as if pondering his schedule. “Well, I _do_ have to be sober enough to wake up on time Wednesday...”

            “Oh, come _on,”_ Gabe said with a short laugh. “You’ve never been over for a party – you promised Halloween and then – “

            “I was on _duty,_ Gabe.” William cut in before Gabe tried to change the story.

            “ _I was on duty,”_ Gabe mimicked, laughing at William’s reaction, the shaking head and clicking tongue.

            “I _promise_ I’ll be there, alright?” William finally said. “ _So_ needy. I’ll come over after class, okay?”

Gabe nodded. “Do you need a ride to the train?”

            “No, I’m going with Sisky; you know Adam. We went to the same school, did you know that?” Gabe shook his head, taking William’s hand in his and making small circles with his thumb. A chill ran up William’s spine and made a home in his cheeks. William rested his head on Gabe’s shoulder. “Say, would you care if Brendon came to this party? I’m trying to do Ryan a favor.”

            “Yea, as long as Holly doesn’t fire you for drinking with your residents,” Gabe replied, referring to William’s boss. “Trouble in paradise?”

            “Uhm, I’m not sure what paradise _you_ are aware of, but those two are not a thing. I think Brendon’s confused about how to tell Ryan what he wants or like, how he doesn’t know what he wants, and Ryan’s too proud to do it himself. But, yea. Trouble I’d say.”

            Gabe laughed throatily, kissing the top of his head. “Yea, we’ll make it work… I’m gonna miss you next week.”

            “Shut up, you goof, we’re gonna hang out this weekend.”

            “But we won’t _next_ weekend and what’ll I do?” Gabe whined, genuinely concerned. He buried his face in the crook of William’s neck, causing him to laugh. He hadn’t felt so comfortable with another human being before in his life, and as corny as it sounded, he know he was going to miss Gabe too. He pulled him closer, muttering again that Gabe was needy; the latter didn’t protest.

Gabe turned William’s face towards him, locking eyes before leaning in for another kiss. He kept his hand on William’s hip as he guided him onto his back, eventually straddling his waist as he did so. Gabe had far more experience than William had, and he wondered if Gabe still experienced any sort of nervous electricity when he cupped his face or breathed his name. He couldn’t imagine Gabe’s internal responses were as strong as his, considering William as still trying to pinpoint exactly what he was doing with Gabe. He wasn’t seeing anyone else, but no one had asked if he was in a relationship – and what should he said if someone did?

“Are we – uhm – “ William breathed as Gabe moved to his neck. “Gabe, I need to know what’s going on. With uhm, with us.”

Gabe pulled back, scanning William’s face before answering. “You’re not the first boy I’ve been with, Bill, you know that?”

William shifted uncomfortably under Gabe. “I guess I figured, yea.”

“But I’m the first you’ve been with.” William nodded mutely, knowing it isn’t really a question. “Look… we don’t have to name this. We can just keep hanging out, yknow? Like – “

“Is this just hanging out?” William wanted to sit up, but he isn’t mad enough; he imaged what it would be life, him fuming and Gabe the one bumbling.

“No, no, no. Bill, I really like you and I’m not trying to fuck with you, alright? I just. Want to see what happens.” Gabe stroked the side of William’s face and he just can’t be mad. He smiled tiredly and pulled Gabe back into him, their kiss electric, Gabe beginning to grind his hips into William’s.

“ _I really want to suck your cock is that okay,_ ” Gabe whispered as he kissed William’s neck again. William kept his eyes shut and tries not to groan. When he doesn’t respond, Gabe continued kissing and started sucking, just a little. At William’s ear, he purred, “ _please, William, I want you._ ”

William allowed a soft moan to escape from his lips, from the pit of his stomach. Gabe kissed his lips again as he began to make his way down, slowly unbuckling his belt as he did so. He looked up as William as he unbuttoned his jeans, and William thought, _Jesus Christ, if time could stop._

William’s not yet exposed when the sirens started.

“Fuck,” William hissed with more frustration than Gabe’s evener seen. He covered his face with his hands as he groaned, the fire alarm in the building next door getting louder, yet he stilled tried to ignore it, convince himself it wasn’t true. When his phone began to ring, he slid out from under Gabe, swearing profusely as he did so.

“I can hear it, alright,” he spat into the phone, knowing it was Holly on the other end. “I’ll start checking rooms. Just ask Marina to meet me outside McShain.” He didn’t wait for her to respond, just slammed the phone down and ran his fingers through his hair before realizing his pants are still undone. He looked at Gabe, who sat dumbly on his bed.

“Five minutes,” he pleaded, but William shook his head, re-buttoning.

“The sooner I get this done, the sooner I’ll be back – if no one causes a problem, it should only take thirty minutes. I’m sorry, I just – I’ll be quick.” He kissed Gabe’s cheek and strode out of the room, readjusted and still hard.

Of course, an entire quad of freshmen on the fourth floor had refused to leave the room, the pot smell potent enough from the hall. By the time he got back, Gabe was sleeping on his bed. William admired him, stripped down to his boxers and t-shirt, before he turned off the lights, pulling the comforter over the both of them and wrapping him in his arms.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this is a little slow -- I had this done for like a week, but I was fighting to fit in a scene that won't work until next time. That said, I'm very excited for the next one, and was super excited to post this because of the title drop. Again, comments are greatly appreciated. Thank you!


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